The Bitter Bug

Sorry it's been forever, i took a little hiatus. Actually, i was coping, or at least trying to. You see, I want to you talk about bitterness, and how it's a deadly poison that slowly creeps up, and by the time you realize what's happened, you're too deep to come out of it. Well, this terrible bug bit me. And it stuck and wouldn't let go. you know, it's one thing to just be bitter, but it's another to be bitter and know you're bitter cuz then your miserable. I was angry, and because of that, i distanced myself from God. I stopped talking to him, i hated going to church. I didnt want him to touch me at church either so i stopped listening to sermons. But i realized (after many talks with my father >>) that me being bitter at the people who hurt me hurt no one else. just me. well, that caused me to do a lot of reflecting. i could...
A) continue being a bitter nasty person who missed out on so much. Became a backsliding sinner who eventually cam back to God and regretted all of the time i wasted when i could be ministering for him and helping to save many from the hungry, flaming pits of hell. and then later feel guilty of all the people i could have ministered to who may now never come to the Lord and if they do not saved it could be my fault because of the missed opportunity. Which in the end could bring me back through another spell of bitterness in which moer time is wasted and i come back to the Lord regretful for allowing myself to waste even MORE time and the cycle repeats again until i finally change somethin and move on.
OR
B) pray that God takes away my bitterness and anger, and trust that he'll do so.

Yea, B) was more complicated, but i'm happy i chose it. putting my faith to work is never an easy task but if i do, and i am granted what i hoped, than i am blessed. and if i do and nothing happens, i have lost nothing. (except a little bit of faith.) but somethimes it has to be tested.

So i trusted. And now my bitterness is gone. i have forgiven the people who hurt me. but most importantly, i have forgiven myself for not forgiving them in the first place.